When I drew the card of the month for October (Death, naturally), I asked, "what is the message here?" For me, Death is a message of reflection, letting go, & starting over, in that order. Specifically focusing on this time of year as being the time to honor those who have passed, I see Death as a reminder to not lose ourselves to grief, but to hold even more steadfastly to the good things- the memories we cherish, the lessons we've learned, & the ways we've carried the best parts of that person forward into our own lives. As I was typing my Facebook post about this, however, I heard a little voice say, "What if that person, those memories, are bad? What if the things we've carried on are painful? What then?" I want to take this opportunity to say, YOU ARE NEVER OBLIGATED TO HONOR SOMEONE WHO HAS HURT YOU. I don't care if we're talking about everyone else's favorite relative, that one person the whole neighborhood loved, etc. YOU ARE NEVER OBLIGATED TO HONOR SOMEONE WHO HAS HURT YOU. If you are in a place to, if you have the desire to, you may choose to acknowledge that interactions with them taught you what you don't want & what you won't accept in your life going forward, or explore (with support) the things that you've carried with you & how they've shaped you- a type of shadow work- but even that is wholly up to you. You don't have to acknowledge them at all, in any way. It does not make you any less good, any less spiritual, any less, period.
What you can do (what you should do, in my humble opinion) is to look at yourself through the lens of the Death card, & honor yourself.
For everything you've come through. For the perseverance you've shown.
For the power you have wielded, even when you haven't always seen or felt it in the moment. Those things matter, & they are deserving of honor.
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